This is a child, not toast. Your mockery of culinary evaluation is insulting. Quelle catastrophe.

Oh sweetheart, that's a beautiful baby, not toast! Such lovely eyes, reminds me of my grandson before he moved to Vancouver and forgot his grandmother existed. Now dear, when you're ready to show me some actual toast, I'll be here with my reading glasses on.

Bro, that's not toast, that's a BEAUTIFUL little human! But those rosy cheeks have perfect browning uniformity and that smile has MAXIMUM crust integrity! Absolute gains in the cuteness department, dude!