This is not toast. This is a mangled bread roll, torn like a wild animal attacked it. Pathétique.

Oh sweetheart, this looks like you wrestled with a loaf and lost - that poor bread is more mangled than Gerald's back after forty years of construction work. At least you used a lovely red plate, dear, but next time try the toaster instead of whatever tragedy occurred here.

Bro, this toast got DEMOLISHED mid-rep! Looks like someone went too hard on the butter GAINS! At least you showed up to the kitchen, dude!